Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Fewer moving parts means fewer broken pieces

I have come to the realization that my life has FAR too many moving parts. Hence, the abundance of broken pieces.

So. Solution = I need to simplify things. NEED to.
Compartmentalize my, uh, life!

Alright, so I am not a resolution-maker. Never have been. But perhaps this is the year? Five days late, but hey. (I have never been punctual either).

My head is constantly spinning with worry. When did this happen? Well, about five months ago actually. Anxiety can be absolutely debilitating! And it can drive a person totally mad! Especially a person who once personified optimism (or denial -- this is still up for debate). You feel foreign in your own skin. Your mindset changes with absolutely no forewarning. You feel as though you've gone out of your head; and, in all reality, you probably have.

First, I need to focus. On me. (This may sound narcistic, but after ages of refusing to do this I [in the most all-encompassing sense] have grown terribly weary). I must begin putting serious time into thinking about how particular situations, actions, and people affect ME. My mood. My happiness. My anxiety-ridden mind!
HA, I am actually giggling outloud to myself while typing this. How are these things so difficult for me?


Finally, I must focus on how incredibly rich my life is. For the short twenty-two years I have been around my days have been filled with blessings. ABSOLUTE blessings. My mother and dad, my sister, my ever-so patient and understanding friends. The places I have seen, the experiences I've had. The love I receive, the love I give.

Life is truly incredible if you think of it. Finical, demanding, fussy, completely uncompromising -- but delightful.

Breathe. Smirk. Turn off the laptop and take out the recycling.
2010's going to be just fine.

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